My Coach Says That If I Honor the Voice of My Angry Little Girl Every Time, Eventually She’ll Stop Being Quite So Angry

That voice? She’s loud because she doesn’t trust me to listen.

So I’m working on proving her wrong. Every time she speaks up, I try to act on what she’s telling me.

Today, she told me (again) to ask my partner to measure the exact pool dimensions so we can order the customized, toddler-proof pool cover.

Valentina’s safety is my highest priority, so of course I need to make this happen. But asking my partner to do this task? It’s not easy. It feels bossy. It feels annoying. And I hate feeling like I’m nagging. I don’t want to be bossy or annoying.

But I also really want this project done. (And I need to not do it myself, even though that would be my comfortable, because I have work tasks that must take priority.)

So, I chose discomfort over silence. I listened to that persistent, insistent voice, spoke up, and asked him to measure the pool.

It sounds simple, even easy, but it’s not. Every time I speak up, it feels like a conscious, uncomfortable choice.

Sometimes, I feel dumb and embarrassed to make these requests. I wish I could be a more chill, go-with-the-flow person who just lets things slide.

But I’m not.

And after nearly 50 years, I’m finally figuring out that maybe it’s better to be honest about who I am—chin hairs, laugh-pee attacks, and all.

Yes, laugh-pee attacks. They’re a thing for me.

I had one in Cancun, right in front of my brother and sister-in-law. In the past, I’d have been absolutely mortified. Humiliated beyond words. But this time? I didn’t even try to hide it. I just laughed about it. And now I’m even writing about it.

Growth is weird sometimes, isn’t it?

(I’m happy to say that, at three months post-surgery, I’ve been able to start doing hypopressives again to help reduce how often those attacks happen. Yay!)

In the meantime, I’m learning to own who I am and what I need—even when it’s messy, embarrassing, or feels hard.

This level of authenticity didn’t just happen overnight. It took work—and coaching.

Coaching has been absolutely transformative in helping me uncover and accept my true self. Learning to live without shame is mind-blowing, liberating, and life-changing. I’ve never been happier or more at peace in my own skin.

I won’t lie—it’s been a journey. But it’s one I wouldn’t trade for anything, because it’s getting me to the life I deserve to live.

If you’re tired of feeling stuck or holding back parts of yourself, let’s connect. You don’t have to hide who you reall are. You can live fully, freely, and authentically—and I’d love to help you get there.